Sitting with my thoughts lately, I can’t help but feel like I’m somehow behind in life. At 40 years old, there’s this quiet pressure that says I should already have everything figured out—a stable career, a clear direction, and a sense that I’ve “made it.” Instead, I find myself questioning where I stand. In April of 2025, I graduated with a certification in Medical Billing and Coding and even passed the national exam to become a Certified Professional Coder. It was a moment that should have felt like a new beginning, proof that all the studying and effort had paid off. Yet nearly a year later, I’m still unemployed, wondering when the opportunity I worked so hard for will finally appear.
The reality of the job market has been discouraging. I’ve sent out more than a thousand resumes, hoping that one of them would lead to a chance to prove myself. Some companies responded with polite rejection emails, saying they had chosen another candidate, while many others never replied at all. What has been most frustrating is not even getting the opportunity to interview. Over and over, I see companies asking for five or more years of experience, unwilling to hire someone with the Certified Professional Coder–Apprentice designation. The irony is that I’ve spent over twenty years working in the medical field, providing patient care and gaining experience in office environments that included some billing and coding responsibilities. Yet it often feels as if none of that experience counts when it comes to breaking into this new role.
For now, I’ve stepped away from the bootcamp course I was attending. I needed space to breathe and reflect on where life might be leading me next. Maybe this pause isn’t a failure but a moment of redirection. I’m trying to stay open to the possibility that something meaningful and fulfilling could be waiting ahead—something that aligns more naturally with who I am and what I’m meant to do. Instead of focusing only on the fear of falling behind, I’m learning to consider another perspective: perhaps this chapter is preparing me for something bigger and better than I had originally planned.
